Christmas Means Memories

Greeting cards have all been sent

The Christmas rush is through
But I still have one wish to make
A special one for you

Merry Christmas darling

We're apart that's true
But I can dream and in my dreams

I'm Christmas-ing with you

The lights on my tree I wish you could see
I wish it every day
Logs on the fire fill me with desire
To see you and to say

That I wish you Merry Christmas
Happy New Year, too

I've just one wish on this Christmas Eve
I wish I were with you

Yes, this video and song are extremely old school, but this is, and always will be, my favorite Christmas song...mainly because it reminds me of my mom. She would fill the entire house with Christmas music for the weeks leading up to the big day, and had a special fondness for this Carpenter's song. Now, when I sing these words, I am singing them to her - as it sums up how I feel quite perfectly. I would wish for nothing more than to have even just one more Christmas with her.

The holidays were very difficult without my mom last year as our house went un-decorated and lacked the usual Christmas cheer - that she had always headed. While I understood my dad and Carrie's not wanting to carry on the traditions we'd once held dear, I felt that my mom would be disappointed in us to not see us keeping her spirit alive by making the holiday special, as she always had. It was most difficult for me to not spend a day with her decorating the tree while singing along to our favorite Christmas tunes. I fondly remember carefully placing each ornament, all memories of our past, on the tree, and then having her come along to insist there was a more perfect branch - this always just made me smile.

Last year, Scott put together a plethora of Christmas keepsakes to remind me of my mom. It included the video, White Christmas, because she and I would watch it together every year, peppermint bark, her favorite holiday candy, an ornament, as my mom had given me one each year since I'd been born, among other special reminders. All I had for him that day was love.

This year, I have decided to bring Christmas back to our house...if not for anyone, but her. I think filling the house with the many decorations she had accumulated over the years, and bringing back the scent of cookies and pine needles, is something she'd want me to do. I think it will also make finding our house a little easier from up above, if it is overflowing with the love of family and for the season.