It’s been a little over two weeks since my dad told me the news of his cancer. I’ve done so much reading on it that I feel as if I may know as much as the doctors do at this point. My dad continues to amaze me, taking the shock of this devastating news with an attitude not of, “Why me?”, rather “Why not me?” In this way, he is much like my mom who, once she got past the sadness and anger caused by her cancer, felt it was better she than someone else. Yes, I have the two most selfless parents in the world.
People are slowly beginning to hear the news and have, of course, been in disbelief. Lightening isn’t supposed to strike in the same place twice after all, right?
Surgery is scheduled for Tuesday, November 4th at 8:00 AM. Finally the past couple weeks of “wait-and-see” will be over, and we’ll gain further insight to what stage the cancer is in and what the future holds. Yet I sit here wondering, "Do I even want to know?" I don't believe it is possible to physically, mentally, or emotionally prepare for the worst, or even best, case scenario.
I am having a very difficult time sorting through my feelings and feel guilty that I'm not responding to this whole situation in the “right” way. I should be crying, cursing...not denying the reality of the situation. Yet, for me, it is the only way to remain hopeful.
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