A Thursday Night Must See

This Is What Passes For Hope...

"...those we have lost evoked in us feelings of love that we didn't know we were capable of. These permanent changes are their legacies, their gifts to us. It is our task to transfer that love to those who still need us. In this way we remain faithful to their memories..."

- Gordon Livingston

Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart

My beautiful friend, Mary, gave me this book for my 21st birthday, and it has since then served as a piece of inspiration for me. It's about learning some of life's truths before it's too late. I thought I'd share a few of my favorites...and leave it up to you to read the rest of the book on your own!

1. We are what we do.

"How many times do we have to feel betrayed and surprised at the disconnect between people's words and their actions before we learn to pay more attention to the latter than the former? Most of the heartbreak that life contains is a result of ignoring the reality that past behavior is the most reliable predictor of future behavior."

2. Feelings follow behavior.

"But any change requires that we try new things, risking always the possibility that we might fail...It is our determination to overcome fear and discouragement that constitutes the only effective antidote to the sense of powerlessness over unwanted feelings."

3. Life's two most important questions are "Why?" and "Why not?" The trick is knowing which one to ask.

"Acquiring some understanding of why we do things is often a prerequisite to change. This is what Socrates meant when he said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living.' Once we acknowledge that there exists below our consciousness a swamp of repressed desires, resentment, and motivations that affect our day-to-day behavior, we have made an important step toward self-understanding. If people are reluctant to answer 'Why?' questions in their lives, they also tend to have trouble with 'Why not?' The latter implies risk. To refuse to take risks, to protect our hearts against all loss, is an act of despair."

4. Happiness is the ultimate risk.

"One of the benefits of chronic pessisim is that it is a safe position. Because their expectations are chronically low, pessimists are seldom disappointed. Asking someone to relinquish depression is often met with resistance. To be happy is to take the risk of losing that happiness. All significant accomplishments require taking risks: the risk of failure in invention, in exploration, or in love."

5. There is nothing more pointless, or common, than doing the same things and expecting different results.

"I don't have answers applicable to every relationship; I believe in what works. What you are doing now isn't working. Why not try something else?"

6. Love is never lost, not even in death.

"Like all who mourn I learned an abiding hatred for the word 'closure,' with its comforting implications that grief is a time-limited process from which we all recover. The idea that I could reach a point when I would no longer miss my children was obscene to me and I dismissed it. I had to accept the reality that I would never be the same person, that some part of my heart, perhaps the best part, had been cut out and buried..."

7. Of all the forms of courage, the ability to laugh is the most profoundly therapeutic.

"To be able to experience fully the sadness and absurdity that life so often presents and still find reasons to go on is an act of courage abetted by our ability to both love and laugh. Above all, to tolerate the uncertainty we must feel in the face of the large questions of existence requires that we cultivate an ability to experience moments of pleasure."

8. Forgiveness is a form of letting go, but they are not the same thing.

"Widely confused with forgetting or reconciliation, forgiveness is neither. It is not something we do for others; it is a gift to ourselves. It exists, as does all true healing, at the intersection of love and justice. To acknowledge that we have been harmed by another but choose to let go of our resentment or wishes for retribution requires a high order of emotional and ethical maturity. It is a way of liberating ourselves from a sense of oppression and a hopeful statement of our capacity for change."

I Guess I Just Miss My Best Friend

Missing you always...but especially today...

"You can only have one mother, patient, kind, and true; no other friend in all the world, will be the same to you. When other friends forsake you, to mother you will return, for all her loving kindness, she asks nothing in return. As I look upon your picture, sweet memories I recall, of a face so full of sunshine, and a smile for one and all. Sweet Jesus, take this message, to my dear mother up above; tell her how I miss her, and give her all my love."

My Dad, My Hero

Well, my dad had his surgery yesterday (as my uncle said, although it was election day, my dad was certainly going through something he hadn't elected for!), and as far as we know, things went well. In order to see if the merkel cell had spread to the lymphnodes, he started out his day in nuclear medicine where they shot radioactive dye into his leg, which in effect highlighted where it has traveled to. The surgeon, upon finding it had moved to the groin, took one lymphnode out, and within the week we will hear back to see whether or not the cancer has spread from his calf. Fingers crossed, it hasn't!

As the saying goes, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," and there is probably no other phrase in the world that I feel can truly sum up the past four and a half years of my life. I can only hope I'd be able to put on as brave of a face as my dad put on yesterday if I am ever faced with such a situation. While he was scared to both go through this serious surgery, and to hear the results upon waking up, he never once let his fear show.

"Change You Can Believe In"

Yesterday, history was made. An unprecedented grassroots organization was built in all fifty states that brought a record number of people into the political process. Barack Obama, after months of one of America's most inspiring elections, came out victorious, being named the 44th President of the United States and the nation's first black commander in chief. His triumph ushers in an era of profound political and social realignment in America.

Walking into the voting booth yesterday, I felt a sense of pride to be a part of this movement for change. My confidence in Obama has increased daily from the time I heard him speak at UNH to the moment I cast my ballot. I believe he will not only be a fine leader for our country, but will play a major role in further improving race relations.

"Because of what we did on this day, in this election, at this defining moment," Obama said, "change has come to America."





"Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. Because it's only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential." - President Barack Obama

"Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will."