Dream: To Live Here Someday

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

The Best Things In Life

Falling in love.
Laughing so hard your face hurts.
Hot showers.
Getting mail.
Sunday drives.

Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
Hot towels out of the dryer.
Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price.

Good conversation.
The beach.

Finding a $20 bill in your coat from last winter.
Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
Running through sprinklers.
Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.

Inside jokes.
Friends.
Falling in love for the first time.

Family.

Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
First kisses.
Making new friends and spending time with old ones.
Playing with a new puppy.

Having someone play with your hair.
Sweet dreams.
Hot chocolate.
Road trips with friends.
Swinging on swings.

Christmas.
Outdoor concerts.

Baking cookies.
Really great hugs.

Rollercoasters.

Sunrises and sunsets.

Giving presents.

Saying "I love you".

Driving with the windows down and the radio blasting.

Seeing your friends smile.
Holding hands with someone you care about.
Running into an old friend and realizing that some things never change.

Text Rings

http://www.fancyjewels.com/product.php?id=text_rings

I want one!

Fresh Starts Are Nice

There Are No Second-Class Citizens

"The reason these things continue to happen, I firmly believe, is because we allow them by not doing significant work in the world. If you are a parent, a teacher, a community member, a human being living on this planet, it is your work to do. Let's stop fooling ourselves that we are too insignificant to make a difference, that it is not our work in the world to make this planet hospitable to all humans." - Patti Digh

Time For Change

Allow your voice to be a vehicle for change.

Relief At Pump: Gasoline Below $2 A Gallon

http://www.csmonitor.com/2008/1120/p01s02-usec.html

For the past few months my dad and I have been playing a game of

"Who can find the cheapest gas station?"

Though the economy has taken a turn for the worse, gas prices are at least on our side.

One word: FINALLY

Life Is A Verb

http://www.pattidigh.com/

"Life Is A Verb"

...READ IT!!

• Say Yes
• Trust Yourself
• Slow Down
• Be Generous
• Speak Up
• Love More

The Hope Revolution

• http://www.hoperevo.com/
  
  
  ...simple, inspirational...enough said?

Quotable Quotes!

• "Every day holds the possibility of a miracle." - Elizabeth David

• "We are each other's magnitude and bond." - Gwendolyn Brooks

• "We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude." - Cynthia Ozick

• "I am here to live out loud." - Emile Zola

• "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." - Henry David Thoreau

• "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." - Eleanor Roosevelt

• "As I grow to understand life less and less, I learn to love it more and more." - Jules Renard

The Art Of Saving Face

http://www.csmonitor.com/2006/0807/p18s04-hfes.html


"Helping someone save face involves giving them a way to exit the situation with their dignity intact. It involves creativity, patience, and sometimes looking the other way. And it puts the impulse on giving, where it should be."

Kara: My YouTube Queen

Kara: "you know me, you get this"

Social Constructionism

Entering the Psychology of Communication classroom during those first couple of weeks was daunting. I was introduced to ideas that were in direct violation of everything I'd grown up believing, and found it difficult to leave behind the modern discourse I had become so used to. I was suddenly being challenged to go beyond the taken-for-granted assumptions about the world we live in and to acknowledge that many realities exist and are constructed and reconstructed through our interactions with others. It was especially demanding when it came to arguments regarding realities that cannot be denied and those that should not be denied. Simply put, the “death and furniture” dispute, which opponents of social constructionism often bring up as a way of limiting that knowledge which can be socially constructed. In this argument, death and furniture stand as symbols of doubt to relativist beliefs. Antagonists of the theory use these examples to make the case that the physical world and distressing events, such as death, cannot be disputed nor are there multiple ways of talking about them.

In order to better illustrate one way in which the social constructionist approach propositions you to see things differently, I would like to share a personal story which looks at one of these challenging and difficult issues, that being of death. As mentioned, opponents of social constructionism oftentimes use this subject in order to “prove” how wrong the ideas behind this theory are. Keep in mind that, before embarking on the exploration of social constructionist thought, I had my doubts as to how helpful this philosophy could be in terms of my personal life. However, studying social constructionism has enabled me to take a step back and see the abundance of possibilities that exist when one allows themselves to not be limited by prevailing discourses, and more specifically for me, when it came to the topic of death. I encourage my readers to let go for a moment and do the same.

My freshman year of college I entered the University of New Hampshire eager to experience new things, meet interesting people, and to set goals for my future. A month after being emerged into this chapter of my life, I was confronted with the devastating news that my Mother had been diagnosed with stage three breast cancer. After a three yearlong battle with this horrible disease, she passed away the summer before my senior year and life, as I knew it, was never the same. I immediately began searching for someone or something to blame, her doctors, the medicine, God. I made myself believe that nothing I would do in life would ever matter since she would not be there to share in it with me.

It was heartbreaking to see how quickly my Mom’s life was made a thing of the past by my friends and family alike. In attempts to comfort me, people would say, “She loved you so much, Jill” and they would talk about what an incredible woman she “was.” It was difficult for me to not fall into a similar pattern, as I had grown accustomed to a world where death is talked about in a way that makes the relationship shared with that person a thing of the past. I sat grief stricken in church on the day of her funeral as those who spoke in her memory talked of how she “had been loved by so many” and “was an inspiration to everyone who knew her.” Listening to the way people engaged in conversation about my Mom, it felt as if she were being taken away from me all over again, only this time on a new level. It seemed that I was being told that my connection to her was now just a thing of the past.

Going into my senior year at UNH, just two and a half months after losing my Mom, and having been shown concern from family members about bottling up my feelings following her death, I decided it might be helpful to sit down with a counselor. After just two sessions of being told how important it was to my “grief process” to acknowledge that my Mom being gone was a reality I had to come to terms with in order to heal, I made the decision that this sort of counseling was not for me. However, it wasn’t until discussing this whole process from a social constructionist point of view that I was able to truly grasp why these sessions had failed me. It was suddenly clear to me that I was not comfortable with giving in to the traditional discourse in the sphere of death and mourning that invites people to "let go" and "move on" from the memories of deceased loved ones. I was unwilling to accept that because my Mom was no longer physically present in my life that the ties I have to her would be severed from then on.

This was the point at which I began “re-membering” my best friend, my Mom, not through engaging in stories of “farewell,” but instead by taking a narrative approach that preserved my connection to her. Once I had allowed myself to see that our relationship could be made part of my future, through recognizing the power of storytelling as a means of going beyond the physical world, I saw that our bond had not been broken, rather it had been changed.

Looking now at the sympathy cards that had flooded my home in the days following the loss of my Mom, I am able to recognize the “dis-membering” language that had tried to assure me that “time heals all wounds.” Reading those words had actually made me feel worse, as my heart reminded me that I wasn’t looking for time to relinquish the pain I was feeling. Had I received a card that instead reminded me of a special time that had been shared with my Mom, I would have felt much more at peace.

Being introduced to the social constructionist approach allowed me to finally do just that. I was able to reject the assumption that people should complete a process of “saying goodbye” in order to come to terms with the “reality” of the situation, and to instead take time to remember. From this perspective, the sorrow I was feeling was no longer something I felt the need to work through or “get over,” rather I allowed my Mother’s life and the memories of times we had shared to become my daily source of strength.

By approaching the subject of death from a social constructionist standpoint, one acknowledges the fact that while death is a biological event, the ways in which we choose to make sense of it are shaped by the social discourses of the world we live in. For those who have ever lost a loved one, I am sure you are familiar with the common dialogue that normally accompanies a time of such sorrow. For me, by stepping outside of this dominant discourse, I was able to recognize that “moving on in life” was not how I wanted to respond to my Mom’s passing, nor was it how I had to. I refused to leave her behind and instead choose to look back to those final days that I spent with her. In doing so, I've been able to reconstruct our last moments together and recognize their significance to my future.

During her last few days with us, as she lay in her bed, I sat by her side and read a letter I had written in which I promised that “every song I would sing, I would sing for her” and that she “would be with me in all I had left to do.” Although she had been physically and verbally unresponsive to my words, which at the time made the moment seem meaningless, I now look back and see that time as being of utmost importance in the building of our future relationship.

Last Christmas, my best friend surprised me with an early gift that stood as a tribute to all of mine and my Mom’s favorite things about the holiday season. That wonderful gift, and having my friend talk about my Mom in a way that made her very much a part my present (and future) Christmases, stood as another reminder of the way in which my connection to her will never be lost. Now, thinking back to that first counseling session when I had been posed with the question of, “How were you and your Mom able to say goodbye?,” I wish I had been able to respond, we didn’t, she is still with me. Simply put, “A relationship does not die when a person dies.”

Pay It Forward

The Pay It Forward Movement is the real-life reaction to the release of Catherine Ryan Hyde's novel ... http://www.payitforwardfoundation.org/

Pay It Forward is a moving story about Trevor McKinney, a twelve-year-old boy in a small California town who accepts the challenge that his teacher gives his class, a chance to earn extra credit by coming up with a plan to change the world for the better--and to put that plan into action.

The plan that Trevor comes up with is so simple--and so naive--that when others learn of it they are dismissive. Even Trevor himself begins to doubt when his pay it forward plan seems to founder on a combination of bad luck and the worst of human nature.

What is his idea? Trevor chooses three people for whom he will do a favor, and then when those people thank him and ask how they might pay him back, he will tell them that instead of paying him back they should each pay it forward by choosing three people for whome they can do favors, and in turn telling those people to Pay it Forward. It's nothing less than a human chain letter of kindness and good will. But will it work?

In the end, Pay It Forward is the story of seemingly ordinary people made extraordinary by the simple faith of a child. The miracle of innocence: the story of how a boy who believed in the goodness of human nature set out to change the world.

"You see, I do something real good for three people. And then when they ask how they can pay it back, I say they have to Pay It Forward. To three more people. Each. So nine people get helped. Then those people have to do twenty-seven." He turned on the calculator, punched in a few numbers. "Then it sort of spreads out, see. To eighty-one. Then two hundred forty-three. Then seven hundred twenty-nine. Then two thousand, one hundred eighty-seven. See how big it gets?"

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"Being good, it turns out, isn't about being pleasing. Being good is about being just to others while also being true to yourself"

-Skirt Magazine

There is never a day where it is better to be in a relationship that undermines, undercuts, manipulates, abuses, or takes advantage of us over being single and in a relationship with ourselves that is filled with self-love.

It's Just A Ride

Life, it's ever so strange

It's so full of change

Think that you've worked it out then BANG

Right out of the blue

Something happens to you

To throw you off course
And then you breakdown

Yeah you breakdown

Well don't you break down

Listen to me

Because it's just a ride, it's just a ride

No need to run, no need to hide

It'll take you round and round

Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down

It's just a ride, it's just a ride

Don't be scared, don't hide your eyes

It may feel so real inside

But don't forget it's just a ride

And don't forget, enjoy the ride

Lucky I'm In Love With My Best Friends

Everyday I am blessed to be able to interact with some very special people, whether it be co-workers, friends, or family, but it has taken me a long time to realize what a wonderful feeling it is to actually stop and recognize the roles these people play in my life.

As I mentioned in a previous post, my amazing friend, Ashley, has taught me one of life's most important lessons: always tell people how you feel because you never know when it could be too late. Ashley, is a patient, kind, and true friend, who knows exactly what you need and when you need it. While her words of support and encouragment are uplifting, her ability to sit in silence with a friend in need and to understand feelings of anger are, to me, an incredible thing. Never do I doubt her loyalty or care. She exhibits a strength, that may seem quiet and hidden to some, but that has certainly never gone unnoticed in my eyes.

Then, there are the friends you may not have known forever, but who you still find yourself stopping to think of for no other reason than the simple fact that they have in someway made a lasting impact on your life. I have one friend in particular, who I have known for just about four years now, who to me will always be like a second home. Nothing about the relationship we have is perfect, but that's what makes it special. Without the ups AND downs, life would be boring. This holds true in relationships, as well. It is the trials that make us stronger. I hope he knows how wonderful and safe he makes people feel. He's my clutch hitter, afterall.

People who know my sister would probably describe her as tough and indestructable. I, on the otherhand, would describe her as deeply caring, driven...and perhaps, at times, a softy at heart. While personal achievements and success are important to her, I truly believe that she does what she does for her family, pushing herself for the greater good. We may not get along 100% of the time, but what sisters do? We respect each other, and to me, that means the world.

I can't stress enough how incredible the power of making connections can be. Everyone has something to teach...we just have to be open to learning.

The Results Are In...

THE CANCER HASN'T SPREAD!

Next step, radiation. Bring it on. The cancer won't win this time.

Don't Sweat The Small Stuff

" Often we allow ourselves to get all worked up about things that, upon closer examination, aren't really that big a deal. We focus on little problems and concerns and blow them way out of proportion. So many people spend so much of their life energy 'sweating the small stuff' that they completely lose touch with the magic and beauty of life."

Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the day-to-day "issues" that consume our thoughts and unnecessarily weigh us down. I will admit that I am oftentimes guilty of dwelling on such trivial matters. However, we, as humans, all have things we wish to work on...and this is one of mine. As my mom once wrote, "Time heals, but also steals precious moments..." I refuse to waste time. It is a gift. Embrace it. Share it. Appreciate it. I plan to...

A Thursday Night Must See

This Is What Passes For Hope...

"...those we have lost evoked in us feelings of love that we didn't know we were capable of. These permanent changes are their legacies, their gifts to us. It is our task to transfer that love to those who still need us. In this way we remain faithful to their memories..."

- Gordon Livingston

Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart

My beautiful friend, Mary, gave me this book for my 21st birthday, and it has since then served as a piece of inspiration for me. It's about learning some of life's truths before it's too late. I thought I'd share a few of my favorites...and leave it up to you to read the rest of the book on your own!

1. We are what we do.

"How many times do we have to feel betrayed and surprised at the disconnect between people's words and their actions before we learn to pay more attention to the latter than the former? Most of the heartbreak that life contains is a result of ignoring the reality that past behavior is the most reliable predictor of future behavior."

2. Feelings follow behavior.

"But any change requires that we try new things, risking always the possibility that we might fail...It is our determination to overcome fear and discouragement that constitutes the only effective antidote to the sense of powerlessness over unwanted feelings."

3. Life's two most important questions are "Why?" and "Why not?" The trick is knowing which one to ask.

"Acquiring some understanding of why we do things is often a prerequisite to change. This is what Socrates meant when he said, 'The unexamined life is not worth living.' Once we acknowledge that there exists below our consciousness a swamp of repressed desires, resentment, and motivations that affect our day-to-day behavior, we have made an important step toward self-understanding. If people are reluctant to answer 'Why?' questions in their lives, they also tend to have trouble with 'Why not?' The latter implies risk. To refuse to take risks, to protect our hearts against all loss, is an act of despair."

4. Happiness is the ultimate risk.

"One of the benefits of chronic pessisim is that it is a safe position. Because their expectations are chronically low, pessimists are seldom disappointed. Asking someone to relinquish depression is often met with resistance. To be happy is to take the risk of losing that happiness. All significant accomplishments require taking risks: the risk of failure in invention, in exploration, or in love."

5. There is nothing more pointless, or common, than doing the same things and expecting different results.

"I don't have answers applicable to every relationship; I believe in what works. What you are doing now isn't working. Why not try something else?"

6. Love is never lost, not even in death.

"Like all who mourn I learned an abiding hatred for the word 'closure,' with its comforting implications that grief is a time-limited process from which we all recover. The idea that I could reach a point when I would no longer miss my children was obscene to me and I dismissed it. I had to accept the reality that I would never be the same person, that some part of my heart, perhaps the best part, had been cut out and buried..."

7. Of all the forms of courage, the ability to laugh is the most profoundly therapeutic.

"To be able to experience fully the sadness and absurdity that life so often presents and still find reasons to go on is an act of courage abetted by our ability to both love and laugh. Above all, to tolerate the uncertainty we must feel in the face of the large questions of existence requires that we cultivate an ability to experience moments of pleasure."

8. Forgiveness is a form of letting go, but they are not the same thing.

"Widely confused with forgetting or reconciliation, forgiveness is neither. It is not something we do for others; it is a gift to ourselves. It exists, as does all true healing, at the intersection of love and justice. To acknowledge that we have been harmed by another but choose to let go of our resentment or wishes for retribution requires a high order of emotional and ethical maturity. It is a way of liberating ourselves from a sense of oppression and a hopeful statement of our capacity for change."

I Guess I Just Miss My Best Friend

Missing you always...but especially today...

"You can only have one mother, patient, kind, and true; no other friend in all the world, will be the same to you. When other friends forsake you, to mother you will return, for all her loving kindness, she asks nothing in return. As I look upon your picture, sweet memories I recall, of a face so full of sunshine, and a smile for one and all. Sweet Jesus, take this message, to my dear mother up above; tell her how I miss her, and give her all my love."

My Dad, My Hero

Well, my dad had his surgery yesterday (as my uncle said, although it was election day, my dad was certainly going through something he hadn't elected for!), and as far as we know, things went well. In order to see if the merkel cell had spread to the lymphnodes, he started out his day in nuclear medicine where they shot radioactive dye into his leg, which in effect highlighted where it has traveled to. The surgeon, upon finding it had moved to the groin, took one lymphnode out, and within the week we will hear back to see whether or not the cancer has spread from his calf. Fingers crossed, it hasn't!

As the saying goes, "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger," and there is probably no other phrase in the world that I feel can truly sum up the past four and a half years of my life. I can only hope I'd be able to put on as brave of a face as my dad put on yesterday if I am ever faced with such a situation. While he was scared to both go through this serious surgery, and to hear the results upon waking up, he never once let his fear show.

"Change You Can Believe In"

Yesterday, history was made. An unprecedented grassroots organization was built in all fifty states that brought a record number of people into the political process. Barack Obama, after months of one of America's most inspiring elections, came out victorious, being named the 44th President of the United States and the nation's first black commander in chief. His triumph ushers in an era of profound political and social realignment in America.

Walking into the voting booth yesterday, I felt a sense of pride to be a part of this movement for change. My confidence in Obama has increased daily from the time I heard him speak at UNH to the moment I cast my ballot. I believe he will not only be a fine leader for our country, but will play a major role in further improving race relations.

"Because of what we did on this day, in this election, at this defining moment," Obama said, "change has come to America."





"Focusing your life solely on making a buck shows a certain poverty of ambition. It asks too little of yourself. Because it's only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you realize your true potential." - President Barack Obama

"Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will."