Will each triumph in my life feel bittersweet, just as the news that I was accepted into my top choice grad school program does? I am happy, of course, that upon taking this leap of faith, I have moved a big step forward toward becoming a teacher, but something's missing.
As I listened to the voicemail, hearing the words that I'd been accepted into the Lesley collaborative internship program with Hillside Elementary School, there was one person I wanted to share my good news with; but I couldn't.
It's difficult to think ahead to the many milestones I will (hopefully) reach in my life: getting my teaching degree, meeting "the one," getting married, having children... I hate that my mom won't be here for all of these things. I miss her like crazy.
The other day, I stopped to think about the fact that it had been awhile since I'd cried for her. This worried me. Then, yesterday came and the moment hit me like a ton of bricks. She is the inspiration behind my wanting to become a teacher. I saw the number of lives she touched in her own classroom, and it is my hope to follow closely in her footsteps and do the same.
My faith reassures me that she's watching down and knows I've been accepted into the program, but it still doesn't stop me from wanting to pick up the phone to call and tell her, or drive straight home to share my good news. It's just not the same, sitting here, urging myself to believe she is, though from a distance, seeing what I'm doing with my life...